I Worry: What if I Don’t Know How to Help My Child?

Focus on Love, Not Fear at www.LisaNalbone.com

I talked with a mom of a sweet 17 month-old thinking ahead about homeschooling or unschooling. I think her question will resonate with

question will resonate with many parents. So I decided to put the answer on the blog.

She said she felt sure she wanted to make the choice to unschool, but she still worries about whether she will know what her child needs and how to help her learn.

Dear J,

After we talked, I felt as though I didn’t give you enough reassurance and didn’t really get to the most important piece of the puzzle. So I wrote this for you.

You said you worry.

I hear you. I worry, too.

I know you might be worried about her education and her future and doing all the right things so that she will reach her potential. There is fear tapping at your mind. The best thing I know how to do is answer with your heart and focus on love.

Love. It begins and ends with love. And love is important every day.

Yes. Parents worry from the day they are born, and often from the nine-ten months previous. Worries that you might not be a good parent and help your children get what they need.

When you follow your out of the box convictions, in nutrition, health, or education, there are new layers of worry added.

Am I doing the right thing?

Will I be able to know and supply what she needs?

And maybe an underlying whispering worry,

how can I do it all?

how will I have time for me and my other relationships and commitments?

or my dreams?

or paying the bills?

Breathe. Come on, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Stop those worries and fears from spinning out of control. Don’t let fear and worry suffocate your dreams or siphon off your energy.

You can do it.

You can figure it out. 

You are enough.

How?

Focus on love.

Unconditional, overflowing, unlimited love.

For your child. Your family. Your friends. Nature. Your community. The World. Yourself.

Start with love. Keep yourself grounded in love, decide what is most important, and then take one step at a time.

You don’t have to be perfect, or know it all, or be the ONE to do everything.

You can shower them with love, feed their curiosity and surround them with wonder.

You can choose to walk beside and support your child. Introduce them to the beautiful world of love. Show them how to find possibilities and overcome obstacles. Model confidence and courage.

You can’t see the future or control it.

You can’t protect our babies from everything life will bring their way.

We have to deal with our own fears and uncertainties so they don’t end up undermining our relationship with our babies.

We don’t need to pretend that we have it all under control. Or that we know everything.

We need to show them how to dream and do. And how to figure things out.

We can show them how to ask hard questions, try new things, and do what matters. And by modeling choosing to learn what you need to learn.

You can choose mindfully meeting needs and not drive yourself to distraction, trying to fulfill every want. You can lovingly show them how to know the difference between wants and needs and how they can meet them for themselves.

You can immerse them in the language of love and emotions. You can give them tools for a life of learning, communicating, and building great relationships with all kinds of people in their personal and professional lives.

Sounds like a big job?

It is.

Sounds kinda scary?

It can be.

Can you do it? 

Absolutely.

Will it be easy?

Probably not.

Will be fun?

It can be, if you choose the adventure mindset and stay grounded in love.

Life is an adventure. Enjoy the ride.

With much love,

Lisa